this is what it feels like to be home again

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...not really caring about public embarrassment-- being too loud or too crazy or too strange-- ever again. because you speak the language and you understand the culture, and so nothing you do here can ever be more embarrassing than all the stupid things you did THERE. you are now immune to actual public humiliation.

mostly.

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...you probably cry a lot more than is normal. you can't watch movies whenever anyone says goodbye to anyone else. this is both somewhat comforting (everyone thinks you're just crying over the animated character) and embarrassing (because, well, everyone thinks you're just crying over an animated character).

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...being frustratingly unable to communicate your thoughts in a logical fashion. i'm trying, really i am, but i just can't english right now.

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...looking at old pictures and wondering sometimes if the whole entire year was a very elaborate and interesting dream. it feels so far away and separate from your life here.

...putting on a pair of boots and realizing that they've walked streets in paris and rome and venice.

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...sometimes, you don't know who you are. because you were so different on exchange, and you FEEL different now, but people want you to be the person they remember.
and sometimes you are, and sometimes you aren't.

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...recognizing that while some people 

didn't really notice you were gone,

there are some other people who care about you. a lot.

and you don't really know why, 

or how, or exactly when that happened,

only that they do.

...and it makes life easier.

this is what it feels like to be home again...

...leaving one life and then creating a new one.

...having little pieces of that life somehow everywhere, in a lovely and scary way.

...learning to appreciate every moment that you have.

spring's lovely links

hey, look what i found in the deep dark archives of my blog!
i completely forgot that i have these...

thoughtcatalog's How You Know You've Found Where You Belong is a great piece. it's also written by a studyabroad-er, although he's in England and i'm in Switzerland.
another good article is this one about the friends you make while studying abroad. gotta love those exchangers from around the world.

my experiences in paris were, thankfully, all good (except for a brief episode of getting lost one day, haha) but this made me laugh so i'm going to share it anyway. travel writing at its best, folks.

one of my newbies has a blog and you should check it out. he's an aussie, his name is vincent and he takes amazing photos. look i'm in this post!

one of my fellow oldies (evan), meanwhile, posted something about happiness a while back. you should also look at that, because he is a talented writer and a pretty awesome person. (also he can play guitar, which is worth a bazillion points in my book.)

i will end with cailler's chocolate study from last year. look at all the awesomeness in this post, you guys.
(it's in german, though. so hit the translate button or something.)

my life as a disney movie: or, why exchange is basically exactly the same thing as tangled

1. When you live in your home country, life is good. you're busy, you're productive, you're successful by most normal standards.

and yet somehow you've always, just vaguely, wanted to know what the world is like. what things are different on the other side of the globe. what lies beyond the world you've always known.

2. a lot of people tell you life outside is dangerous. scary. life-threatening, even. they tell you they care about you and they don't want to see you fail. they tell you you are safe here, there is no reason to leave.

it scares you.

3.  at the same time, you feel ridiculously cool and exciting whenever you tell someone your plans for the next year. (yay! finally! plans!) 

i mean, look at how independent you are.

...most of the time.

4. as soon as that airplane door closes, you realize that you are actually really truly doing this. it is a feeling of exhilaration and terrifiedness at the same time.

but mostly terrifiedness.

5. when you first enter your host country, everything is exactly like you dreamed! it's wonderful and amazing and beautiful and AHHHHHHH. you're in heaven.

6. then, somewhere along the way, you start realizing the consequences of your decisions. your attitude changes five times approximately every two seconds. it's very dramatic.

7. you meet the rotarians. they are scary.

then you get over it and realize they've all got dreams too. language is different and culture is different, but people are simply people, all over the world. 

(hooray for disney bonding time.)

8. you meet a lot of wonderful people.

you see a lot of wonderful things.

and you fall in love with this country.

9. you realize that you have been somehow preparing for this all your life -- that your study abroad has crept into all parts of your existence and permeated it with the love of the unknown, the need for adventure.

you belong where you are unsafe and uncomfortable and awkward. you have made friends and lived through disaster and grown up a little more here. you've found that you are more capable than you know.

and most importantly,

adventures still lie ahead.

a little note for context:

my host family and i were watching Tangled (in German, it's called simply "Rapunzel") one weekend, and I realized just how much it mirrored my life on exchange. enjoy!

girl meets world: my first week of school in another country

So, today marks Friday and my first official week of school ever. Plenty of people have asked me what school looks like in Switzerland, so here's a quick rundown of the differences I've noticed:

• There are two different types of high school: FMS and Gymi, or Gymnasium. Gymnasium is for students to pursue "higher" branches of learning, and FMS is for things like teaching and art and dentistry etc. You can easily get a job coming from either high school. (I got put in FMS... explanation to come later.)
• You have only one class of students, and you see them every day. Mine is about 17 people, which is the average for FMS--Gymnasium classes have an average of 25 people (but they can't be any more than that, it's illegal.) This is actually really nice, because I have the same kids in my class every day and it's easier to make friends.
• Every day is not the same... your days are broken up into 50 minute sessions and each day is different. So on Tuesday I have Physik, Musik, Geschichte (history), Englisch, and Deutsch, but on Wednesday I have Klassenstunde (a weird thing that varies from week to week), Musik, Biologie, and Mathematik.
• This also means that you can take way more subjects than in American high school, simply because you have so many timeslots to fill. As of my last counting, I have 14 different classes. I'm not sure if that's a lot? It seems like an awful lot to me...

Anyway. Now that you know all about Swiss high school, here's an average morning before school for me:

6:00am--wake up. I refuse to wake up earlier than 6 (well actually I normally end up waking up at 5:50 because I have a weird tendency to anticipate my alarm... but I refuse to get out of bed earlier than 6, so). I get dressed, pack my school bag, review my bus schedule so I don't miss the bus again, and do all the normal things that one does in the morning.
6:30am--eat breakfast. It's still dark outside, and cold. Brrrr, Switzerland.
6:50am--leave the house. I have to catch the bus at 6:56 to the Rheinfelden main station, and then take the train from Rheinfelden to Muttenz, and then walk for about 10 minutes from the Muttenz station to my school. Hopefully I don't get lost, because my school is in the middle of an industrial area and there aren't that many people around at 7:30am to ask for directions.
7:50am-- If I'm lucky, I find one of my classmates and we walk to class together. If I'm not, I rush madly up and down stairs in an attempt to find the room. After I've finally located it (I swear the FMS building has no logical order to their room numbers whatsoever) I go into the classroom and we all wait for the teacher, who shows up promptly at 7:55. These are Swiss people, after all.

Voila. And school hasn't even started yet!

But after I find my classroom and my classmates, things get easier. Since we all have the same classes, I can just follow everyone else around and theoretically get where I need to be at the time I need to be. So far it's worked pretty well. :)

The majority of my classmates are really friendly and super nice about showing me where classes are and translating for me when I have no idea what's going on. Also, people keep commenting on how good my German is already, which is not exactly right... but it makes me happy, haha.

I'm currently in Physik, Mathematik, Biologie, Franzoesisch, Deutsch, Sport, Art (which I can't remember the name of in German), Wirtschaft und Rechts (economics), Computer Science (which I also can't remember the name of), Musik, Geschichte, and Englisch. Also my other Deutschkurs, something called PP that I don't understand, and something called Klassenstunde that confuses me.
Because I'm feeling nice, I won't drag you through my entire schedule for the week. You're welcome.

Highlights:

• Music! We started with music theory (thank you, Animate Studio and voice lessons and voice teacher who gave me two years of intensive theory) and sang in the second hour. Also, the songs were all really old hits in English. Think Moonlight Shadow and House of the Rising Sun. Since I like singing and I could actually read the lyrics, it was a good class for me.
• The economics teacher told us we didn't have any homework because I was in class and I might not understand it. This made me a lot more popular with the other students ;)
• For my very first day we had three hours of Art. Hooray for art, it doesn't require you to speak very much and you have plenty of time to draw and think and attempt to translate what the teacher is saying. Probably the best Monday class to have, ever.
• French is an optional class, because all the teaching is either in French or German and I've had neither of those languages in school. Because I've wanted to learn French, I stayed in the first class just to see what would happen. That said, I was surprised to discover that I actually understood part of what was going on! Language has always been something fairly intuitive for me-- some people get math, some people get science, I get languages. But I wasn't expecting to be able to read and understand very much, as I've never in my life taken French. I think maybe Spanish helped, or possibly my brain was in learn-a-new-language mode... either way, it was a nice surprise :)

In the majority of my classes, I don't have homework (hooray!) This is mostly because my teachers are really nice and understand that I have no idea what to do with written German homework. I do understand what's going on in the class, and I can follow along to some extent. From what I've heard about school on exchange, school is really boring, but so far I haven't found that to be true.

and so concludes a very long probably boring post.
We'll see what happens next week... stay tuned!

in which hannah learns a bit of french, meets a tiger (and a canadian), and eats too much chocolate

So this post is pretty overdue, seeing as I did all of this about two weeks ago.. but hey, it's still an update, right? I'll try to put a ton of posts after this and maybe it'll look like I posted it semi-on-time.

 Anyway.
On Saturday, my host family told me that they wanted to take me to see the tiger in the next village over. I was a little surprised considering this is Switzerland and not India, and I wasn't expecting to see a tiger my first month of exchange. But, it sounded interesting and I've never seen a village tiger before, so I said yes.
We drove for about 10 or 15 minutes and then walked for a while. (I'm beginning to realize that most outings begin with a walk, whether you're in Luzern or in Magden or in Rheinfelden or in Basel.)
After turning down a dirt road we arrived at a small farm. It did not exactly appear to be the type of place that exotic animals reside in... but sure enough after [more] walking and a good look around, we located the tigers. Shortly after that, I and my host family and our fellow village people filed into a very large dingy barn and the show began.

 We sat really close to the cage... almost too close for comfort, considering that it was a very old-looking cage... but the animals that filed in did not look wild and ferocious. They reminded me of very old overweight cats, which was unexpectedly funny.
Apparently the tigers are the hardest to train because they are sneaky and not very obedient. In the trainer's words, sie sind listig, which means something like clever/sly in English...
The lions are also hard to train because they are very lazy. (And fat. The lions are really fat. They don't really look like Simba at all, they look more like the weiner dog who used to live next door to me. And they walk like he did too.) They are more interested in the food than in the trick-performing part.

Leopards are the most teachable wild felines. They are small, and quick, and smart, and for the most part clever at learning tricks. They were also the only animals with sufficient grace to live up to my ideal of the jungle creatures :)
Okay, nature lesson over. After the animals were done performing, the man came out and answered a lot of questions that I didn't really understand because they were in Swiss German.
In fact, a lot of time here is spent listening to questions I can't really understand because they're in Swiss German. I think this is a recurring theme in my life.

And that was it for the lions and tigers and leopards... oh my!

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

After this, I met up with Faith (who you already know) and Ryan (who's a Canadian exchange student) in Basel. Ryan is from Fribourg and he speaks fluent French. It makes me jealous just to write about it... but he taught Faith and me some very basic things in Franzoesisch, which makes me happy. I can now say "I love you", "my name is Hannah", and "I come from the United States." Unfortunately I think I have an unbelievably horrible French accent... :/ but oh well.

We bought chocolate bars and ate probably too much chocolate* and laughed and discussed exchange and four-leaf-clovers and Swiss German and trams and a lot of things that I can't really remember anymore but it really doesn't matter because we were in Basel. on a summer day. in the park.

it was a good day.

*I don't think I've ever eaten so much chocolate in one month. you have no idea.

a day in augusta raurica

(note: this is the second of a series of posts I'm writing about Switzerland and the places I've been. Solely for the purpose of having fun (and to exercise my travel writing skills) I'm going to write about it in second person. Which means you, the reader, are semi-virtually coming with me. bring good shoes.)

You've just come from dance class, and your host mom wants to know whether you'd like to visit some Roman ruins tonight. To be completely honest, you aren't particularly enthusiastic about the idea. Instead, you're tired, hungry, and ready to sleep... but Switzerland waits for no man, and you don't want to miss a thing here. So you dig out your Converse and your trusty camera. Augusta Raurica, here we come!

Augusta Raurica is the oldest known Roman colony on the Rhine (according to all-knowing Wikipedia, that is) and was founded around 44 BC. The entire colony encompassed all of Canton Basel and a bit more, but it was significantly damaged by an earthquake and some other Roman troops. The parts you're going to are the theater and the main forum.

 Later on your host parents will take you to an Italian pizza restaurant. You'll eat some really delicious pizza, because of course no one makes pizza like the Italians, and you'll have your first drink of Rivella. It's like soda, but with the faint tang of Smarties and the fizziness of sparkling apple cider. (Your enjoyment of this drink will dip slightly once you read the label and discover that it's made of milk serum--what IS that??--but it's pretty delicious.) Meanwhile, you've got all the Roman ruins to explore.

You walk around, take pictures, pose in front of the baths, do all the normal touristy things that touristy people do in touristy places. And then the sun starts to go down and everyone leaves. So it's just you, with the stones and the ivy and the thoughts in your brain.

The fact that you're standing in something so big and old... walking on stones that were laid way before your time... touching the same walls that people touched thousands of years before... it's crazy. Something so long ago and far away.

And yet standing in the half-light of dusk, the night beginning to settle around your feet and the hum of the city lost... you feel so close.

And so you close your eyes.

and you listen to the stories around you.

a day in the basler munster

(note: this is the first of a series of posts I'm writing about Switzerland and the places I've been. Solely for the purpose of having fun (and to exercise my travel writing skills) I'm going to write about it in second person. Which means you, the reader, are semi-virtually coming with me. bring good shoes.)

So your host family has just told you they're taking you to Basel! You're super excited, because you've seen Basel before but you haven't gotten the chance to really explore. You bring walking shoes and a bag, and of course your giant touristy-looking camera, because Switzerland is beautiful. You don't want to miss a thing.

The day begins with a car ride and a short walk through the streets. (Actually people in Europe are big on walking, so most days begin with a short walk through the streets.) You want very badly to take a picture of everything you see, but you also don't want to look like the Japanese tourists roaming Basel on the weekends or the American tourists taking selfies in front of every Swiss flag on the street.
Finally you pull out your camera and attempt to discreetly take a few shots. Unfortunately, this is nearly impossible because of your giant touristy-looking camera (see second paragraph of this post). By this point you've given up on looking local, because a) you're asian and b) you can't speak Swiss German anyway. You take all the pictures you want.

In front of you is a very old building called the Basler Munster, and you walk in.

The sudden darkness startles you, so you blink rapidly before you can see anything -- and when you can see, what a sight meets your eyes! Stained glass windows arch over your head, and the ceilings are several stories high. Your steps are loud in the silence. It's one of those places where everyone talks in whispers, afraid to disturb the echoes of history.
Your host dad asks you if you'd like to go to the top of the Munster, and of course you say yes. You neglect to ask him how high the Munster is, but that's okay because many people have gone up there and you figure that if they made it, you should be fine.

(Note to self: next time, do inquire about the height of the Munster. Never assume things.)
Anyway, the friendly lady at the desk in front directs you to a set of steps and a heavy door. You and your host family walk through and are confronted with a very small, very dark, very steep set of stairs.
For the first time, you realize just how amazing the invention of the elevator truly was. 
These stairs are steeper than they are wide, slippery, and there's practically no light in the stairwell.

Just stairs...
and stairs...
and more stairs...

Seriously, if the bellringer had to climb so many stairs just to ring a bell every hour, no wonder the Hunchback of Notre Dame ended up talking to gargoyles. At least, I think that's how the story goes.

But it's all worth it in the end, because after about 100 steps you reach the first tower landing and see out. Over the sea of churches and rooftops and markets, you can see forever. The mountains reach into the distance (well, this is Switzerland, so pretty much everywhere you go the mountains reach into the distance. But that's not the point here.)
On the other side of the tower, the Rhine flows towards Germany.
You snap a billion pictures... and then realize that there are more steps.

They are even tinier than before, about as high as your shin and half as wide as your foot. They are also made of stone and probably older than the Declaration of Independence.
But you are on an adventure and so you carry on.

After approximately 125 more steps, you are at the top of the tower.


You've made it.
(finally.)

There is nothing compared to the view of Basel from the top of the Basler Munster, and you could probably live here except for the fact that it'd take you an hour to climb those stairs every day. You lean out the arches and take pictures and try to see your village and take more pictures and pose with gargoyles and take more pictures.
And then it's back down the stairs again, with nothing but photos and sore legs and the memory of standing in sunshine above the rooftops.

the end.
hannah

august's lovely links

here is a site that has new travel photos from all over the world. plus they upload. all. the. time. If you want to travel all over the world, I vote you look at this page.
this article from The Atlantic tells how the author traveled to switzerland to study french. a little old to be an august ll, but i'll let that pass since a) it's a beautiful essay and b) it's Switzerland. and no one writes about switzerland.
somewhat random link: top ten coolest trains in the world.
somewhat random inspiring post: embrace the unknown.
Adventurous Kate writes about her short stay in Switzerland.
a photographer takes pictures of Switzerland out of train windows... I'm not sure whether this is really cool or really mediocre. But I do think that it's an interesting idea, and I like the idea of capturing something imperfect and getting a new perspective.
gorgeous travel photos of the month: http://www.canvas-of-light.com/ and http://furtherbound.com/. This makes me yearn to travel the world with only a backpack and a camera. That's what post-exchange is for, right?

days < 0 -- arriving

piece of advice for future exchange students #7:

you are going. you are going because this is an adventure and it is worth it.

stop panicking.

I'm here!
that's it. I'm too tired to write more. :)

august's lovely links -- pre-exchange favorite posts

this "lovely links" is a bit different because I'm going to post my favorite pre-exchange links from this blog. in case you're just beginning to read my blog and you don't want to read through everything, I'll also explain some of it throughout this post.

also, Sound of Music isn't from Switzerland, it's from Austria. But I couldn't resist using some of the lyrics anyway.

let's start at the very beginning:
I first applied for the Rotary Long Term exchange program in the fall of 2012, and I was accepted as an alternate (a replacement, if you will, for the primary candidate). I went to the first Rotary week in January, and they still didn't know whether I would be able to go. about a week before the Rotary Youth Exchange weekend in February, I received an email saying that they found a slot for me and that I was accepted into the program. I screamed my head off.
That week was crazy. We talked to people and learned about countries and went through culture training and finally received our country selections on Saturday. I started my blog back in May, after the district conference. This post describes the process a little more clearly, and the following one is what happened between the February weekend and the May conference. :)

a very good place to start:
My feelings were basically all over the place. the exchange seemed surreal and the preparation was rather overwhelming. in addition, I knew I'd miss everything at home --- exchange wasn't an escape for me. but I knew that this was something I really, really wanted. and so the months went by.

when you read you begin with:
German is a difficult language. if you have an extra half hour, you should look up "the awful German language" by Mark Twain... the language isn't actually that bad, but the essay is funny.

Also during the summer, I answered a lot of questions. a lot.
a LOT.

when you exchange you begin with:
as the day came closer, it began to sink in that I actually was going. I had the whole summer to think through why I wanted to do this seemingly crazy and potentially overwhelming thing, which helped. I also realized that I'd be saying goodbye to a lot of things (that seems really obvious, now that I think about it.)

favorite post so far, though, goes to stamps. it's a short description/story I wrote on the fly, and I'm surprised that I ended up liking it so much. hopefully you will too?

dreams, doubt, and saying goodbye

just because something is a bloomability does not mean that it comes without its fair share of doubt.

when you sign up for exchange, they tell you about the best things. all the places you'll go. all the sights you'll see. all the friends you'll make. and i think that's true, every word of it, because exchange sounds amazing.

but they never mention what you'll be missing.

because when you sign up for a year, you may not exactly realize that you're going to be gone for, well, a year. there's a lot that can happen in a year, you know. people change, and places change, and friendships change. you gain a lot on your exchange year, but you will also be giving up quite a bit.
the more time i spend with my friends, the more i realize that this is a place where i belong. and that i will be leaving it behind once i leave. and that i will never quite be in this same spot again.

it's odd to think that high school goes so fast. i thought it lasted forever, and here i am, halfway through, doing something i would never have seen myself doing two years ago. it makes me feel very old and very young at the same time.

a few months ago i said goodbye to my normal school friends and classes and activities. there was the usual hugging and exchanging of email addresses and promises to stay in touch.
but it was different this time.
because every time someone said "will i see you next year" the answer wasn't "yes" or "maybe".
the answer was "no".
"no" because i am going on exchange. and at the end of the summer when you are buying notebooks and pencils and folders and stepping onto the bus for school, i will be buying my ticket and stepping onto a plane for another country.

and every time i look at a calendar, i remember:
in less than 10 days, i will be separated from my friends and family and everything that is safe and comfortable.
in less than 10 days i will be flying across the ocean toward my new country, toward my new family, toward my new home.
in less than 10 days, i will be gone.

questions I've been asked recently--part II

So, Sweden? That's cool.

I'm glad you think so! But I'm going to Switzerland.

Swaziland? Wow, exotic!!!

hahaha, no. I'm going to Switzerland.

Ohhhhh... Sound of Music, huh?

errr, that's Austria. Switzerland is next to it, bordered by France, Germany, Italy... oh, never mind. I'm going to Europe.

Great! Europe is wonderful. You're going to love it.

::laughs::

thanks. :)

You leave in less than 20 days. are you ready?
no.

...

what, you were expecting a different answer? *

I can't believe you're leaving! Will you Skype/call me every day?

um. no?

WHY NOT?!?!?

because I would love to talk to you! but I really am on exchange to learn about a culture, language, country, and people different from my own... which means that being online or on the phone constantly would undermine that :P

there is, also, the small matter of the 90-day rule.

The 90 day what?

the 90 day rule. it's a rule set up by Rotary for exchange students. basically, it states that you cannot Skype or call anyone from your home country (with the exception of your parents, when you get there) for the first 90 days.

so, if you'd like to talk to me on exchange, I'd love to talk to you too! shoot me an email, though. or send me a letter. I love letters. and I promise to reply if you send me one.

But I'm no good at writing letters.

great! now is the perfect time to learn. ♥

How's your German coming along?

oh no, not this question again.
My German is... passable. hopefully. I can understand the written emails my host mom sends me, and I can respond (with Google Translate as my editor, haha) in simple sentences. that said, I can't understand German spoken at full speed unless it's repeated, and I'm fairly sure my pronunciation is atrocious. thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities to practice in the next few months!

take pictures!!!

I will do that! (I also intend to sketch madly in the next couple of months, so expect to see plenty of awkward doodling on this blog soon.) Switzerland is beautiful and I can't wait to see it in person!

*see this post.

rivers, rapids, and what I learned about exchange while rafting

i ride the rapids for a reason.

well, that was rather cryptic. let me explain.

about a month ago, i went rafting with a youth group. the guide on our raft asked us to think about the river and what we could learn from it. at first i thought that was weird and a little too pocahontas-y--you know, "colors of the riverbend" or however that song goes--but because i enjoy thinking, i thought about it anyway.

and i realized that i am approaching a rapid very quickly--i am going to switzerland--and that scares me as if it WERE a rapid. and it frightens me, because people tell me stories about europe and horror stories about exchange and ask me why on earth i would want to go until i'm not even sure myself anymore. until i'm asking why. until i'm doubting ever riding the rapid in the first place.

but there, on the river, i realized why i want to go. it's for the same reason i want to ride the rapids. they are scary, yes, and they are mostly optional, yes, and in some ways they also carry danger. but at the same time, there are things you learn from the rapids that you never find on the smooth water. there's a joy and courage and strength and exhilaration that comes from riding the rapids--that feeling of victory and the thrill of being a part of what you really want to do. and if this is my rapid, my adventure, then i need to pursue it.

---

to put it another way: have you ever felt like maybe everything was too easy? not too easy in the way that nothing is hard enough... more too easy in the way that it's hard at the beginning, but after a couple days/weeks/months it becomes easier. commonplace. and not hard anymore.

and haven't you ever longed for something that would present a constant challenge? that would become your life, that would be something you live day in and day out? something that wouldn't become easier, but that would challenge you physically and mentally and socially all the time?

because i want something like that. i want to know that i am being challenged and that i have a story worth telling. and for me, that is the one thing that holds me to exchange--the fact that it is a growing experience like nothing i've ever seen before.

i'm not ready

the most common question i get now:
"are you ready?"

and normally i smile and say yes, sure, absolutely, thrilled, etc.
but i thought about it and i realized that no, i'm not.

it freaks me out to think that i will be getting on a plane and living without my family and friends here for a year. i feel too young and too inexperienced and too whatever to possibly be ready.

but every time i've ever felt scared and worried and stressed about something that i know i want to do, i've felt unready. and somehow by the time i am doing it, i am ready. i'm not sure what happens inside when i become ready... there's only the fact  that when the moment of truth comes, i am. and i trust myself to know when i will be.

so no, i'm not ready.

but you know what?

i will be.

june's lovely links

note: again, I've been gone for a couple weeks so some of these posts are severely overdue. sorry about that... anyway, I am doing my best to catch up and post (relatively) on time. :)

random things I've been reading that are somewhat travel related:

Fluent In 3 Months encourages you to make mistakes while learning languages... i have to admit that this is one of the hardest things for me to do, although i'm sure i'll make plenty of mistakes in Switzerland.
on another note, they also happen to have funny random posts about travel and habits picked up in other countries. some of the habits are hilarious.

this post from The Great Affair lists 27 things travel has taught Candace in 27 years. it's a short list, but worth the read.

this distance calculator tells you just how far away i'll be from your house. oh, although i'm sure you could use it for other things too. ;)

in case you wish you could travel now but the obstacles seem insurmountable--Young Adventuress lists some common travel excuses and reasons why they shouldn't actually keep you from traveling (although there is some language used on this blog that I personally wouldn't use. just a heads up.)

this writer talks about his reasons for traveling young. To be honest, though, i think most of his reasons could apply to anyone, no matter their age.

food for thought: one rotary student's experience and thoughts on Eurotour.

days < 40 -- summering

piece of advice for future outbounds #3:

don't forget that your life here has its rewards too. enjoy the moment.

the reason that this post is so severely overdue is that i have been making the most of my summer. summer camps and parties and sunshine are beautiful things.

unfortunately, that also means that i have been forgetting to post as often as i should. sorry about that.

things to celebrate in the past 10 (ish) days:

• i can now solve a rubik's cube. ridiculously proud of myself.
• summer bucket list:  going to summer camp? check. rafting through rapids? check. rafting through rapids, except without a raft? check. i'm doing well on this, you guys. now if i can only find someone to go cliffjumping with me...*
• i can read a book in german! sort of. if reading means that you have the general idea of what happened.  and that it's a book you've already read. and that you have google translate nearby just in case. but still.
• i can now say that i've watched star wars. this is a cultural milestone.
• worked at VBS... helping with little kids is so, so rewarding. there were definitely some difficulties, but on the whole i'm glad i had the opportunity to help.

*just kidding. cliffjumping isn't actually on my list. neither is stormchasing or paragliding, in case you were wondering. **

**although now that I think about it, those do sound really fun. ***

***but they can wait. i'd rather be alive during my exchange year. ;)

stamps

the post office at the grocery store gets a lot of traffic, even on weekdays. since school isn't out, i am the youngest person here. 

I stand up straighter, push back my bangs. Try to look like I belong here. Hope no one asks me why I'm not in school. 

Short people just naturally get taken for littler than they are. I remember one July picnic when a little boy asked me how old I was (14). I asked him how old I looked. He squinched his eyes up at me, thought hard, and said, "eleven?" my sister nearly died laughing. 

I don't ask people to guess my age anymore. 

The lady at the register looks toward us and I bring my envelopes over, sliding them across the counter like I've done it a million times. "How much will it cost me to send these to Switzerland?" 

She says "2.20" without having to think. post office ladies are cool like that.
I ask how long it'll take and she says a week. I ask if there are any ways to get it there faster.
The lady lifts her eyebrows. "well, there's a couple options. we can send it one way and that costs 33 dollars, or you can take the other option but that's 44.25." 

... 

with as much dignity as I can muster, I say I'll stick with the first option. She takes my money, stamps the envelopes in red, and sticks international stamps on the corners. They're round, with a picture of the earth on them--pretty.
As the lady slides the envelopes away and hands me my change, I think about that stamp. It's so little to be sent halfway around the world. In my head I trace a line across the little blue globe--Switzerland is probably only about two inches away. 

except that in 60 days I'll be following that envelope, and it won't be any two inches neither. 

more than 2000 miles. 

and i realize just how little i am, to be sent halfway around the world.

questions I've been asked recently

So you're going on exchange... you're so lucky! That's like one long vacation, right?
::stands there in surprise and shock::

::coughs::

excuse me while I go laugh my head off in a corner...

The short answer is no. it is not a vacation, although it totally made my day when one person asked that. :)

slightly longer answer: I will be working--and working hard--on exchange. It would probably be much easier and more vacation-like for me to stay home, where I know the language and the culture and I have friends. When I go on exchange, I will be attending high school in a different language in another culture with people I've never met. I'm homeschooled, so that means that I'll be adjusting to "real school" as well. It will be difficult, trust me.

Then again, I don't think that life was created for the purpose of avoiding work.

So you're going to Sweden?

um, no. I'm going to Switzerland :)

Switzerland... where is that?

It's smack-dab in the middle of Europe, just below Germany, above Italy and to the right of France. It's also a really tiny country, which is fantabulous.
I will be staying in the village of Magden, which is approximately 3 miles from the German border and 15 miles from the French border. If you're looking at a map, it is in the upper left hand corner of Switzerland. My school is in Muttenz, so I will be taking the bus/train to get there every morning.

Will you take classes in English, or do you need to speak Swiss?

Swiss isn't a language. That's sort of like if someone asked you whether you spoke American or United-Statesian. Just because you live in another country doesn't mean you all have your own language.
There are four official languages in Switzerland: German, French, Italian, and Romansh. I will be living and studying in the German part.

German? So you won't have any classes in English? Won't that be hard for you?
Um. Probably?
But I'm excited to learn the language, as nerdy and pathetic as that may sound (yes, I admit it. I am a pathetic nerd. you can stop reading my blog now...) German is a really amazing language and with so much immersion I should become fluent, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Do your parents know about this?

No. I'm running away. shhh.

...

Haha, just kidding. Yes, they do know about this.

When do you leave?
I'm leaving in the first week of August. My travel agency hasn't set a specific date yet, which means that I'm packing in the next month and waiting for the call/email that will let me know when I'm about to leave.

and yes, I am excited.
very.

may's lovely links

random things I've been reading that are somewhat travel related:

this link, "3 Reasons to Travel While You're Young", helps reassure me that traveling right now is a good idea (or at least not totally crazy). It's so true, whether you're in high school or not.

And another perspective, How to Have the Normal Knocked out of You (I just love the title of this post.)

This blogger writes about how she was robbed in Vietnam -- and how it was one of the best things to happen to her. Although I still have no desire to get robbed?

just for kicks... A Wimp's Guide to Taking a Cold Shower made me laugh. 

On Top of the World is a series of pictures one girl took at the top of various famous cities. Worth two minutes of your time :)

These lovely photos are basically just stylistic photographs from around the world. It really doesn't have anything to do with my blog, but I thought they were pretty so I included them anyway.

and finally, I know I'll have to learn to adjust to a different culture... but this post (on "assumptions about cultural adaptation") definitely provides food for thought.