my first 100 days-- again

"and... i had two contrasting feelings. 

one was complete happiness, as if i was back in a comfortable place 

with people i knew and who knew me. 

the other feeling was complete and overwhelming homesickness. 

it was as if the two feelings were taking turns, 

and i was waiting to see which one would win." 

-- bloomability, sharon creech

my three-month theory about exchange -- the idea that after three months, you are exchanging "for real" and you are more than just a tourist-- isn't exactly a secret. that is, it's not anything particularly special or brilliant or life-changing. it's just a theory, a theory that happens to hold true for a lot of things; after 100 days (a little longer than three months), you have to change. 

and so i shouldn't have been surprised when, yesterday, i hit my one hundred days.

but i still was.

people laugh, sometimes, when i say that i'm homesick. they think i'm being funny on purpose. but the thing is-- i AM homesick. i'm homesick for places i've explored and languages i've heard and people that i've loved, because to me switzerland is home. 

i'm sorry if that sounds ridiculously stupid.

(actually, i'm not sorry.)

(go on exchange yourself and then come back and tell me it sounds stupid to call your host country home. I DARE YOU.)

anyway.

at the same time, i love oregon. i never realized how much i HAD missed my life here until i came back... because here, as well, are places i've explored and languages i've heard and people that i love. even though i hated the US when I first got back, coming home forced me to recognize that portland, oregon, is home as well.

and i've missed it.

more than eleven months ago, i was sitting on my bed exulting in the fact that i was finally more than a tourist. more than a visitor in a foreign land. more than some random weird crazy girl who didn't belong.

and now here i sit, and i'm posting this because i'm finally, finally, FINALLY more than a tourist. more than a visitor in my own land.

because finally i am someone who feels, 

in her own random weird crazy way, 

that she belongs.

days > 90 -- living

advice for future exchange students #15:

if you make it to the third month, congratulations.

you are exchanging.

I have this theory that life for exchange students gets more dramatic at the third month mark. While I haven't had that much drama as of yet (which makes me rather worried, because I feel like something should be coming), I've observed enough of my friends to conclude that around three months in, something changes.

I talked with some of my Austauschschuler friends about this, and what we came up with was that after three months, you are no longer a guest. You are on exchange-- you have lived in the same house for almost 100 days, you (should) be able to speak the language to communicate, and you are no longer new to school or classes or your village. 

And so you are transitioning.

You are transitioning into living your new life.

things that have happened in the past 10 days:

• first skype with my family!!! For those of you who didn't know, there is something called the 90-day-rule that my district set up for the outbounds. It basically states that we cannot skype or call home (with the exception of a short call home to tell them that we've arrived) for the first 90 days of our exchange. But... my 90 days are over, and so I skyped home! :) :) :) words do not express how excited I was.
• I finally got to meet up with one of my friends from Zurich, Sarah. We skyped several times before I left (she is from Kentucky and I am from Oregon) but since she's in a different area and district I haven't gotten to see her very often. It was good to see her and talk and compare lives :)
• I got an account at the Rheinfelden library. This means that I can check out German books whenever I want for free. Since the library was a huge part of my life at home, it's nice to have an account here.
• met with my counsellor at Gymnasium Muttenz. We spoke completely in German, which was actually pretty cool for me... while I've had conversations with my host family and my colleagues at school, it's a different experience to explain yourself and ask "business" questions in German.
• On Wednesday, my whole class had something called a Berufstag (at least, I think that's what it's called). All of the first-year FMS students were required to take a huge long test to see what their strengths and weaknesses and job preferences would be. Then on one day, all of us go and visit places and hear presentations based on what those job preferences are. Each of the different jobs require you to go to a specific type of school where they train you for the specific job you pick. So for example, I went to a pedagogy presentation (which was really boring), an architecture presentation (which was interesting) and a presentation about journalism/translation/communications (which was really awesome.)
• I've also decided to go to university here.
• Just kidding. 
• Except really... there are some very good schools in Switzerland, so we'll see how my German goes and then maybe college in other countries would be a possibility!

the end.

hannah

questions I've been asked recently--part II

So, Sweden? That's cool.

I'm glad you think so! But I'm going to Switzerland.

Swaziland? Wow, exotic!!!

hahaha, no. I'm going to Switzerland.

Ohhhhh... Sound of Music, huh?

errr, that's Austria. Switzerland is next to it, bordered by France, Germany, Italy... oh, never mind. I'm going to Europe.

Great! Europe is wonderful. You're going to love it.

::laughs::

thanks. :)

You leave in less than 20 days. are you ready?
no.

...

what, you were expecting a different answer? *

I can't believe you're leaving! Will you Skype/call me every day?

um. no?

WHY NOT?!?!?

because I would love to talk to you! but I really am on exchange to learn about a culture, language, country, and people different from my own... which means that being online or on the phone constantly would undermine that :P

there is, also, the small matter of the 90-day rule.

The 90 day what?

the 90 day rule. it's a rule set up by Rotary for exchange students. basically, it states that you cannot Skype or call anyone from your home country (with the exception of your parents, when you get there) for the first 90 days.

so, if you'd like to talk to me on exchange, I'd love to talk to you too! shoot me an email, though. or send me a letter. I love letters. and I promise to reply if you send me one.

But I'm no good at writing letters.

great! now is the perfect time to learn. ♥

How's your German coming along?

oh no, not this question again.
My German is... passable. hopefully. I can understand the written emails my host mom sends me, and I can respond (with Google Translate as my editor, haha) in simple sentences. that said, I can't understand German spoken at full speed unless it's repeated, and I'm fairly sure my pronunciation is atrocious. thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities to practice in the next few months!

take pictures!!!

I will do that! (I also intend to sketch madly in the next couple of months, so expect to see plenty of awkward doodling on this blog soon.) Switzerland is beautiful and I can't wait to see it in person!

*see this post.