questions i've been asked recently, part iii: what i say and what i mean

How was your trip?
what i say: "it was great!"
what i mean: "it was not a trip. it was home. it was my life for an entire year. it was not a trip. why are you saying it's a trip."
"oh wait, i'm probably overreacting to this."
"i'm sorry."
"well, anyway, it was fantastic."

Do you miss Switzerland?
what i say: "yes. so much."
(and then i laugh and change the subject.)
what i mean: "there are no words to describe it. there aren't. and i miss it and i don't want to miss it because it hurts so much and so i'm dealing with this by not talking about it so let's not talk about it."
"except i do. want to talk about it, i mean."
"i just, i'm not sure if you're okay with me melting into a puddle right here."

tell me something about your exchange year!
what i say: (laughing) "gosh, where to start... what do you want to know about?"
what i mean: "ahhhhh you are amazing."
"wait. do you actually want to hear all this?"
"are you sure?"
"are you really really sure?"
 "...and do you have seven hours to spend listening to me ramble?"

why didn't you respond to my emails/letters/texts?
what i say: "um."
what i mean: "gahhhhhh I AM SO SORRY. seriously, i am the worst long-distance communicator in the history of ever. this does not mean that you don't matter-- on the contrary, it means that you matter very much (because i'm talking to you now) and that once again i've proven my ability to lose contact with multiple people in a very short time. i'm really, really sorry and i love you very much. let's have a conversation right now."

I speak German too!
what i say: "that's awesome! where did you learn it?"
what i mean: "you are now my new favorite person. can we go talk in a corner? or actually can you just speak german to me for the next three days because i miss the sound of this language so much and i'm super afraid of losing it forever and i'm resorting to children's cartoons on youtube JUST so i can hear german again..."

::sighs:: ah, Switzerland. the most beautiful place in the world, isn't it?
what i say: "yes."
"yes it is."
what i mean: "yes."
"yes it is."

on the eleventh day of christmas

on the eleventh day of christmas
my exchange gave to me

questions to answer more independence long christmas dinners swiss weihnachtsmärkte seven for a family six lovely months five languages four advent days three families two traditions and a new look at bloomability

so one thing that exchange has taught me is that i need to question things. i need to question the things that i have always taken for granted, that have always been a part of me. because other people see the world differently. and meeting those people causes me to get a new perspective on how our world works.

i come from a homeschooled-christian-rightwing sort of environment (although my family has always, always encouraged me to ask questions and challenge them), and so i've been taught ABOUT the world. but that doesn't mean at all that i am an expert on it.

the problem is, reading books about bikes and wind current and the structure of the wheel only gets you so far-- eventually you have to learn to ride the bike yourself, without help.

and it works the same way with the world.

i've met gays and mormons and atheists and catholics and liberals and conservatives now, and what's more i am friends with them. i am friends with them, and they are forcing me to ask questions. i believe in my faith, and i support it fully, but i have to ask myself what to do. how to respond when the world hits me.

and so far i haven't figured out that much that is black and white, exactly right or exactly wrong all the time.

but the one thing that i realize is that at the core,

we are all people.

and meeting these people gives me questions to ask,

and that is okay.

girl meets world: my first week of school in another country

So, today marks Friday and my first official week of school ever. Plenty of people have asked me what school looks like in Switzerland, so here's a quick rundown of the differences I've noticed:

• There are two different types of high school: FMS and Gymi, or Gymnasium. Gymnasium is for students to pursue "higher" branches of learning, and FMS is for things like teaching and art and dentistry etc. You can easily get a job coming from either high school. (I got put in FMS... explanation to come later.)
• You have only one class of students, and you see them every day. Mine is about 17 people, which is the average for FMS--Gymnasium classes have an average of 25 people (but they can't be any more than that, it's illegal.) This is actually really nice, because I have the same kids in my class every day and it's easier to make friends.
• Every day is not the same... your days are broken up into 50 minute sessions and each day is different. So on Tuesday I have Physik, Musik, Geschichte (history), Englisch, and Deutsch, but on Wednesday I have Klassenstunde (a weird thing that varies from week to week), Musik, Biologie, and Mathematik.
• This also means that you can take way more subjects than in American high school, simply because you have so many timeslots to fill. As of my last counting, I have 14 different classes. I'm not sure if that's a lot? It seems like an awful lot to me...

Anyway. Now that you know all about Swiss high school, here's an average morning before school for me:

6:00am--wake up. I refuse to wake up earlier than 6 (well actually I normally end up waking up at 5:50 because I have a weird tendency to anticipate my alarm... but I refuse to get out of bed earlier than 6, so). I get dressed, pack my school bag, review my bus schedule so I don't miss the bus again, and do all the normal things that one does in the morning.
6:30am--eat breakfast. It's still dark outside, and cold. Brrrr, Switzerland.
6:50am--leave the house. I have to catch the bus at 6:56 to the Rheinfelden main station, and then take the train from Rheinfelden to Muttenz, and then walk for about 10 minutes from the Muttenz station to my school. Hopefully I don't get lost, because my school is in the middle of an industrial area and there aren't that many people around at 7:30am to ask for directions.
7:50am-- If I'm lucky, I find one of my classmates and we walk to class together. If I'm not, I rush madly up and down stairs in an attempt to find the room. After I've finally located it (I swear the FMS building has no logical order to their room numbers whatsoever) I go into the classroom and we all wait for the teacher, who shows up promptly at 7:55. These are Swiss people, after all.

Voila. And school hasn't even started yet!

But after I find my classroom and my classmates, things get easier. Since we all have the same classes, I can just follow everyone else around and theoretically get where I need to be at the time I need to be. So far it's worked pretty well. :)

The majority of my classmates are really friendly and super nice about showing me where classes are and translating for me when I have no idea what's going on. Also, people keep commenting on how good my German is already, which is not exactly right... but it makes me happy, haha.

I'm currently in Physik, Mathematik, Biologie, Franzoesisch, Deutsch, Sport, Art (which I can't remember the name of in German), Wirtschaft und Rechts (economics), Computer Science (which I also can't remember the name of), Musik, Geschichte, and Englisch. Also my other Deutschkurs, something called PP that I don't understand, and something called Klassenstunde that confuses me.
Because I'm feeling nice, I won't drag you through my entire schedule for the week. You're welcome.

Highlights:

• Music! We started with music theory (thank you, Animate Studio and voice lessons and voice teacher who gave me two years of intensive theory) and sang in the second hour. Also, the songs were all really old hits in English. Think Moonlight Shadow and House of the Rising Sun. Since I like singing and I could actually read the lyrics, it was a good class for me.
• The economics teacher told us we didn't have any homework because I was in class and I might not understand it. This made me a lot more popular with the other students ;)
• For my very first day we had three hours of Art. Hooray for art, it doesn't require you to speak very much and you have plenty of time to draw and think and attempt to translate what the teacher is saying. Probably the best Monday class to have, ever.
• French is an optional class, because all the teaching is either in French or German and I've had neither of those languages in school. Because I've wanted to learn French, I stayed in the first class just to see what would happen. That said, I was surprised to discover that I actually understood part of what was going on! Language has always been something fairly intuitive for me-- some people get math, some people get science, I get languages. But I wasn't expecting to be able to read and understand very much, as I've never in my life taken French. I think maybe Spanish helped, or possibly my brain was in learn-a-new-language mode... either way, it was a nice surprise :)

In the majority of my classes, I don't have homework (hooray!) This is mostly because my teachers are really nice and understand that I have no idea what to do with written German homework. I do understand what's going on in the class, and I can follow along to some extent. From what I've heard about school on exchange, school is really boring, but so far I haven't found that to be true.

and so concludes a very long probably boring post.
We'll see what happens next week... stay tuned!

questions I've been asked recently--part II

So, Sweden? That's cool.

I'm glad you think so! But I'm going to Switzerland.

Swaziland? Wow, exotic!!!

hahaha, no. I'm going to Switzerland.

Ohhhhh... Sound of Music, huh?

errr, that's Austria. Switzerland is next to it, bordered by France, Germany, Italy... oh, never mind. I'm going to Europe.

Great! Europe is wonderful. You're going to love it.

::laughs::

thanks. :)

You leave in less than 20 days. are you ready?
no.

...

what, you were expecting a different answer? *

I can't believe you're leaving! Will you Skype/call me every day?

um. no?

WHY NOT?!?!?

because I would love to talk to you! but I really am on exchange to learn about a culture, language, country, and people different from my own... which means that being online or on the phone constantly would undermine that :P

there is, also, the small matter of the 90-day rule.

The 90 day what?

the 90 day rule. it's a rule set up by Rotary for exchange students. basically, it states that you cannot Skype or call anyone from your home country (with the exception of your parents, when you get there) for the first 90 days.

so, if you'd like to talk to me on exchange, I'd love to talk to you too! shoot me an email, though. or send me a letter. I love letters. and I promise to reply if you send me one.

But I'm no good at writing letters.

great! now is the perfect time to learn. ♥

How's your German coming along?

oh no, not this question again.
My German is... passable. hopefully. I can understand the written emails my host mom sends me, and I can respond (with Google Translate as my editor, haha) in simple sentences. that said, I can't understand German spoken at full speed unless it's repeated, and I'm fairly sure my pronunciation is atrocious. thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities to practice in the next few months!

take pictures!!!

I will do that! (I also intend to sketch madly in the next couple of months, so expect to see plenty of awkward doodling on this blog soon.) Switzerland is beautiful and I can't wait to see it in person!

*see this post.

rivers, rapids, and what I learned about exchange while rafting

i ride the rapids for a reason.

well, that was rather cryptic. let me explain.

about a month ago, i went rafting with a youth group. the guide on our raft asked us to think about the river and what we could learn from it. at first i thought that was weird and a little too pocahontas-y--you know, "colors of the riverbend" or however that song goes--but because i enjoy thinking, i thought about it anyway.

and i realized that i am approaching a rapid very quickly--i am going to switzerland--and that scares me as if it WERE a rapid. and it frightens me, because people tell me stories about europe and horror stories about exchange and ask me why on earth i would want to go until i'm not even sure myself anymore. until i'm asking why. until i'm doubting ever riding the rapid in the first place.

but there, on the river, i realized why i want to go. it's for the same reason i want to ride the rapids. they are scary, yes, and they are mostly optional, yes, and in some ways they also carry danger. but at the same time, there are things you learn from the rapids that you never find on the smooth water. there's a joy and courage and strength and exhilaration that comes from riding the rapids--that feeling of victory and the thrill of being a part of what you really want to do. and if this is my rapid, my adventure, then i need to pursue it.

---

to put it another way: have you ever felt like maybe everything was too easy? not too easy in the way that nothing is hard enough... more too easy in the way that it's hard at the beginning, but after a couple days/weeks/months it becomes easier. commonplace. and not hard anymore.

and haven't you ever longed for something that would present a constant challenge? that would become your life, that would be something you live day in and day out? something that wouldn't become easier, but that would challenge you physically and mentally and socially all the time?

because i want something like that. i want to know that i am being challenged and that i have a story worth telling. and for me, that is the one thing that holds me to exchange--the fact that it is a growing experience like nothing i've ever seen before.

questions I've been asked recently

So you're going on exchange... you're so lucky! That's like one long vacation, right?
::stands there in surprise and shock::

::coughs::

excuse me while I go laugh my head off in a corner...

The short answer is no. it is not a vacation, although it totally made my day when one person asked that. :)

slightly longer answer: I will be working--and working hard--on exchange. It would probably be much easier and more vacation-like for me to stay home, where I know the language and the culture and I have friends. When I go on exchange, I will be attending high school in a different language in another culture with people I've never met. I'm homeschooled, so that means that I'll be adjusting to "real school" as well. It will be difficult, trust me.

Then again, I don't think that life was created for the purpose of avoiding work.

So you're going to Sweden?

um, no. I'm going to Switzerland :)

Switzerland... where is that?

It's smack-dab in the middle of Europe, just below Germany, above Italy and to the right of France. It's also a really tiny country, which is fantabulous.
I will be staying in the village of Magden, which is approximately 3 miles from the German border and 15 miles from the French border. If you're looking at a map, it is in the upper left hand corner of Switzerland. My school is in Muttenz, so I will be taking the bus/train to get there every morning.

Will you take classes in English, or do you need to speak Swiss?

Swiss isn't a language. That's sort of like if someone asked you whether you spoke American or United-Statesian. Just because you live in another country doesn't mean you all have your own language.
There are four official languages in Switzerland: German, French, Italian, and Romansh. I will be living and studying in the German part.

German? So you won't have any classes in English? Won't that be hard for you?
Um. Probably?
But I'm excited to learn the language, as nerdy and pathetic as that may sound (yes, I admit it. I am a pathetic nerd. you can stop reading my blog now...) German is a really amazing language and with so much immersion I should become fluent, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Do your parents know about this?

No. I'm running away. shhh.

...

Haha, just kidding. Yes, they do know about this.

When do you leave?
I'm leaving in the first week of August. My travel agency hasn't set a specific date yet, which means that I'm packing in the next month and waiting for the call/email that will let me know when I'm about to leave.

and yes, I am excited.
very.