Friday, November 22, 2013

stars

i'm walking home from choir, the same thing i do every thursday. there is music singing in my head, notes shining like silver on the tip of my tongue. the village is quiet. 
i'm not sure why... maybe it's the lack of light pollution or something... but there are always more stars than i've ever seen in my village. they literally reach past the horizon, which makes the sky somehow seem a lot bigger than it does in the daytime.  
it's dizzying at first, a little frightening to realize that there are so many different giant burning things in the sky. That our sun is so very small, and our earth is so very small, and we ourselves are practically nonexistent in the universe. and really, why do i even matter?
i remember one of my friends saying she didn't like to think about it. it made her feel too tiny.
but at the same time, it is somehow nice to feel tiny. to look up and feel dwarfed by the stars and to know that no matter how awfully you messed up your language today, they will all go on shining. and that what you do doesn't really affect the universe, not at all. 
the sky is deep and black and filled with stars.
and the constellations look different. they are different. they are not the same as they are at home.
the first time i saw the Big Dipper, i almost fell over because it was in a different place. switzerland is almost the same latitude as portland, so i suppose that doesn't make too much sense. but for some reason all the constellations look bigger, or brighter, or lower somehow. they're almost in the right places, but not quite.  
even the constellations, then, are a constant reminder that i am not at home.
that i am not where i know, where i understand.
that i am not in the place where i belong. 
and yet...
some things don't change. the sky is different, and the constellations look different. but the stars are the stars that i have always seen, will always see.
 the biggest visible things in my life, the biggest things in our universe, continue to do what they have always done. the moons orbit around each other, the planets whirl on their axes, the stars burn bright. no matter what, they stay constant. they don't change.
and so i'm walking home from choir, the same thing i do every thursday. there is music singing in my head, notes shining like silver on the tip of my tongue. the village is quiet.
the sky is deep and black and filled with stars.
and the constellations look different. 
but the stars? 
the stars are always the same.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, I'm from Switzerland and at the moment on exchange in Colombia. It's funny and interesting for me to read your blog, it shows me how people who don't know my country experience things there:) I just wanted to tell you that I love the way you write, I write a blog by myself and wish sometimes I could describe things better because there are so much new and confusing feelings you have when you're going on exchange and sometimes it's so difficult to describe it to people back home!
    :D Linda

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  2. This verse's concern is the blaze divine-
    orbs and lamps celestial my topic -
    the stage, the rolling golden universe.
    The primal light, split into vessels bright: 25
    sun, moon, the stars and planets, comet's flight -
    all these and more like flowers underfoot
    or as the lamps which light the thespians
    fix on the stage, below, above as well,
    weirdly lighting fearsome and fevered dreams. 30
    The world at large a close and secret stage

    I think there would be fewer Atheists if there were more astronomers, in a sense.

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